for the past year and a half, i've been looking for romance, variety (live's elusive spice), new friends, and possible a life partner, through two online dating services. my personal filters for even considering contacting someone are: a personal profile that shows originality, literacy, high intelligence, a variety of life experiences, an appreciation for the arts and the sensuous, and a sense of humor. it doesn't hurt to find someone who is facially or physically attractive (this is subjective, not identical with hollywood standards), but that comes second. not an all-inclusive list, but you get the idea.
it's been an interesting ride. one aspect of reading someone's online profile is that you get lots of ideas for books to read! another aspect is that over time, one becomes more adept at (a) reading between the lines in selective, self-promoting descriptions which make the writer sound like a renaissance woman; (b) spotting those with neurotic or psychotic tendencies; and (c) noticing those precious few who are genuine, interesting without having to proclaim "'i'm interesting", provocatively curious about the world, and have a clear range of ideas and experiences with which to enrich a conversation.
i'm probably too selective, but on the other hand, life is too short to waste time with shallow thinkers, or with those who exaggerate their finer qualities. in this rich world of ours, there is little excuse for dullness or lying.
soooo, my thanks to those whom i've been intrigued by and agreed to meet me, whether or not we hit it off. putting oneself out there, to be seen and evaluated, is a scary and courageous thing, for most of us. here's to courage, and to the thrill of the hunt, and to the very human need for closeness and love which drives us to take that first step.