01 September 2011


The Lorax spoke for the trees. I speak for all of the natural world ~ creatures and habitat. Now one of those creatures has stepped forward to speak for itself and its entire species, in a profane and delicious Onion satire. The Karner Blue butterfly is found "in small areas of New Jersey, the Great Lakes region, southern New Hampshire, and the Capital District region of New York." It is classified as an endangered species in the U.S., and in 2000 was listed as locally extinct in Canada. The Karner Blue is one unhappy butterfly.

And it's not content to go quietly into that good night. According to a press release, If I Go Extinct, I Swear I Will Take as Many Humans With Me as I Can. An exerpt ~ "I know when you look at me all you see is a pretty little insect with a taste for the nectar of wild lupine plants. Sure, you can comfort yourself with that thought, but I tell you what. You put my species' back against the wall and you are going to see another side of this butterfly. One that has a can of gasoline, a match, and is pissed off enough to light up you and everyone you know.

" .... You think I'm kidding around? Keep messing with my habitat. Keep developing land and messing with my migratory patterns so that my food sources become even scarcer. Yeah, just keep on doing that and one night you're going to wake up with a knife to your throat as I and my last remaining friends force you to watch while we strangle your wife and kids. Maybe then you'll take land conservation a little more seriously. But you know what? It will be too late.

" .... I guarantee the majority of you will die slowly and painfully, like my brothers who starved to death because you just had to go and disrupt our habitat. And you know what that means? It means we are going to tie you down and force you to ingest toxic chemicals that methodically eat away at your insides.

" .... it shouldn't even have to come to this. We're the state butterfly of New Hampshire. Don't we deserve a little more respect? I guess not .... And there will be nothing you or anyone else can do about it except wring your hands and wonder why you didn't take care of your friend the Karner Blue butterfly, who only wanted to help pollinate your plants but is now howling for your blood."

Whew. A little disturbing, even as satire. The article goes into even more graphic detail. Here's the rub ~ dramatic details aside, this scenario is precisely what humanity faces if we persist in wantonly decimating species and habitat. We are soiling our own nest ~ despoiling the oceans, destroying entire ecosystems, driving entire networks of species to extinction, altering the chemical makeup of the atmosphere, razing native habitat right and left in order to accomodate the cancerous spread of humans. Ultimately such behavior can only lead to one conclusion ~ strangling the very planet which keeps us alive.

Perhaps it would be wise to consider the Karner Blue butterfly's words, not as a literal threat, but as a metaphoric warning. Besides, I don't want to risk the wrath of a bunch of really pissed-off butterflies, do you?

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