18 February 2008


for the past eight or nine months, i've been exploring the world of online matching services. the results have been decidedly mixed, though curiously parallel to a similar period in the mid-80s, pre-internet, when i was placing and responding to personals ads in the tucson, arizona, alternative newspaper. then, as now, of those respondents whom i actually met, probably two thirds were dead ends. another sixth were multiple dates, but ultimately did not work out. the other sixth became friends, but not romantic interests. of the dozens i met over a three year period, only one turned out to be a soul mate. currently, my new soul mate has eluded me. but hope springs eternal .....

naturally, i suppose, in both the print medium and online, aspiring partners tend to place themselves in the best possible light, rarely revealing their character flaws, psychoses, or weaknesses. it's up to the perceptive hunter to read between the lines, pick up on red flag phrases, or notice gaps in information. and that's just the preliminaries, before you actually meet!

it's a new world, one in which it can be too easy to make rash assumptions based on wishful thinking. i've learned to slow down, listen carefully, but still hoping that my correspondents match candor for candor, intelligence for intelligence, wit for wit, and that we find common ground in our aesthetics, our cultural interests, our delight in the natural world, and the activities/events that challenge, thrill and inspire us. i'm definitely not looking for a clone, how boring that would be. just a reasonable degree of compatibility, with enough differences to spice up the mix. someone to learn from, and share with, and grow with.

but alas, she has to like cats ....

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